UNBROKEN RESILIENCE: THE LIFE STORY OF JOSEFINA MEDVED

Unraveling the Threads

In the year 1983, my grandmother Josefina quietly departed, mirroring the way that defined her existence. I reminisce about attending her funeral, joined by my daughter Iva, as we paid our last respects. The final days of her life were spent in a hospital, where I happened to be working. I made every effort to visit her regularly, although she was in a confused state most of the time.

After forty years, in 2023, I finally went with my brother to visit my grandmother's burial place in Pančevo. The cemetery was originally meant for Catholics and had been there for a long time. As we walked around, we saw the graves of many people who left a lasting impact on Pančevo's history. It made me think back to the time when Pančevo was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

With each step, I thought about how my grandmother was connected to the empire, even though she wasn't born in Pančevo. She came into the world in 1904 when the Austro-Hungarian Empire was still around, a place where different cultures and people coexisted. The cemetery remained as a link to the past.

Navigating Shifting Borders

The world was a vastly different place back then from what it is today. The marks of the past shaped the lands we know now. The aftermath of the First World War resulted in Austria-Hungary's defeat and Serbia’s victory. The region encompassing Pančevo, where my grandmother found her final resting place, along with Croatia, where she resided most of her life, underwent a significant territorial shift. In 1920, the Treaty of Trianon was signed, which redefined the political map. These areas, previously part of Austria-Hungary, became part of a new country called the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes. This new kingdom was created after the war with the aim of bringing together different ethnic groups.

Over time, the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes became Yugoslavia. However, as time passed, the world continued to change, and national boundaries shifted again even though the echoes of the past remain.

My grandmother's life was intertwined with the significant shifts that shaped the world around her, both through direct effects and indirect influences. While these transformative moments may not be immediately apparent in the narrative I wish to convey about her, they play a crucial role in understanding the broader context of her life and the impact she had on others.

Surviving Struggles of Adversity and War

Let me share with you her remarkable life story in broad strokes. Born in March 1904 in Croatia Josefina was the eldest among her siblings. Although the details of their family's move to Germany remain unknown, it is known that two of her younger siblings were born there. However, the onset of the First World War prompted their migration back to Croatia.

Josefina's life took a turn for the worst after the war when her father, against her wishes and despite her love for another man, forced her into a marriage with a man who was 18 years her senior. This decision left Josefina in a deeply unhappy and abusive relationship, forcing her to navigate the challenges of raising her two daughters with limited financial means. To make ends meet, she took on various odd jobs, predominantly working as a house helper for affluent families. Her husband was an alcoholic who lost his job and money. He died from the consequences of his drinking in 1940.

The outbreak of the Second World War presented Josefina with an opportunity to actively participate in the resistance against the occupying forces. She aided the partisans by delivering essential supplies, risking her life for the cause. However, her involvement did not go unnoticed, and the Croatian fascist ultranationalist organization known as the Ustaše discovered her activities. Because she was in imminent danger, Josefina made the difficult decision to flee with her younger daughter, my mother, in March 1944.

For more than a year, Josefina and a group of fellow refugees sought refuge in the safety of the forest. There, she contributed to their survival by working as a cook for the partisans. As the German forces launched their final major offensive, she and her daughter had to cross the border into Hungary, where they found safety until liberation finally arrived.

A Home Lost, a Home Rebuilt

Upon their return to Slavonski Brod, they were met with the devastating sight of their family home in ruins due to the ravages of war. Because of Josefina's exceptional contributions during the war, the authorities granted her temporary use of a new house. For approximately two years, she continued her role as a cook, tirelessly providing meals for others. However, she was later informed that she could only remain in the house if she purchased it, a feat she simply could not afford. Thus, she was left with no choice but to return to her dilapidated and barely habitable original home. Determined to rebuild her life, Josefina did her best to repair and restore the house, creating a modest but comfortable dwelling.

She found love and companionship when she married again on February 2, 1954. Her husband, Pavo Medved, brought joy and happiness into her life, but their time together was cut short when he passed away in 1963.

After five years, we caught up with her in Pančevo, Serbia, where she lived with her younger daughter and the rest of their family. It was a big change in her life when she decided to move from Slavonski Brod, Croatia, to start a new chapter in Pančevo. She spent the next 15 years there until she passed away in 1983. For most of the time in Pančevo, I was living under the same roof as her, along with my parents and brother.

A Survivor's Tale

My grandmother Josefina's story, as briefly reviewed here, is one of immense strength. From enduring an unhappy marriage to surviving abuse, raising children single-handedly, and actively participating in the resistance movement during wartime, she exemplified resilience and perseverance. In the face of adversity, Josefina faced every obstacle, refusing to be defeated by life's hardships.

Her life was marked by a series of traumas, yet she remained unbroken. With quiet strength, she dealt with each difficulty, maintaining her spirit and drawing upon the wisdom she had acquired over the years. Some of my most cherished memories were the moments I spent alone with her during winter vacations, back when she still resided in Slavonski Brod. We shared a mutual love for reading, seeking comfort in the cozy warmth of her humble home. She would prepare a pot of boiled corn, knowing it was one of my favorite treats, and we would snuggle under a soft blanket, immersing ourselves in the gripping pages of Western novels and magazines.

She had a way of shielding me from the ridicule of my older cousin, who often made fun of my childlike fascination with games. Wise beyond measure, she would gently remind him that there was a time for everything and that childhood was meant for play. Never once did she complain about her own burdens. She possessed a steady resilience, capable of shouldering the weight of life's challenges without uttering a word of discontent. She was a true survivor, understanding the value of hard work and perseverance.

Unspoken Burdens

However, her demeanor began to shift when she became a part of our household, living with my parents, my brother, and me. She felt a strong need to please my mother at all times, and this desire to fulfill her perceived expectations caused a strain in their relationship. The unresolved conflicts between them started to take a toll on her behavior and her ability to express her true self. Deep down, I empathized with her. Despite her efforts to hide it from the world, I could still sense her anguish.

Even though she had a hard time inside, she stayed unbroken, battling against the assumptions that weighed her down. She showed both strength and vulnerability as she navigated the complicated dynamics of her family. Being around her, I saw her keep going through tough times and endure them silently. She taught me about resilience and internal struggles that may go unnoticed by others. Her hidden pain reminded me that everyone carries their own burdens, and it is our kindness that can give comfort to those who need it the most.

She exuded kindness whenever she had the freedom to be her authentic self. Her face bore a smile conveying her warmth and genuine goodness. Regardless of having a meager pension, she never failed to give my brother and me a monthly sum, solely for the reason of being our grandmother. She walked through life with humility, harboring simple needs and a spirit of generosity.

I recall the time I visited her in the hospital. Despite enduring excruciating pain and battling declining health, her face lighted up with an immense smile and happiness at the sight of me.

At one time, at a medium séance, I was informed that she lingered around me safeguarding me from potential harm. Whether or not the medium truly connected with her spirit remains uncertain, but the significance lies in the resonance those words held for me. They encapsulated the essence of her being, as I had experienced it firsthand.

Her given name was Josefina, but within our family circle, she was affectionately known as Grandmother Fina. The nickname perfectly suited her, as Fina translated to "Nice" in English, and it was a true reflection of her warm and gentle nature.